From the Outside Looking In
by teambellaforever
Summary: What if you were in love with your best friend, and you could never admit your feeling? What would your life look like? Well it's how Alice's life looks like. Alice loves Bella but she never admits it so she instead views her life from the outside. Will her feelings ever go away? Non Cannon Pairings


**From the Outside Looking In**

I do not own The Twilight Saga.

* * *

I met you when we were fifteen.

My family and I moved in next door.

You were bright eyed and energetic, eager to be friends.

 _"Hey, I'm Bella Swan! I live right next door!" You said happily as you pointed to your white house with black shutters._

 _"Hi, it's nice to meet you." I replied and put my hand out to shake yours._

 _Instead you went to hug me._

 _When I froze you pulled back, you smiled embarrassedly, "Sorry I'm from a family of huggers."_

 _I laughed, "It's ok so am I, but I wasn't expecting that."_

 _You laughed, "Sorry I just came from my morning run, it takes awhile for the adrenaline to leave my system."_

 _"So you're a runner?" I asked._

 _You nodded, "I'm on the school's track team, I'm a klutz walking but running enables me to fly. It's strange but I can't seem to explain it."_

 _As you spoke I could see the passion you had for running and just life in general._

 _It was the day I knew I was in trouble._

 _This girl would be the end of me._

 _It was like Taylor Swift said, I knew you were trouble when you walked in._

It turns out our mother's were college roommates, their freshman year.

So automatically our holiday traditions were intertwined.

I joined the track team to spend more time with you, thank god we both made varsity.

We would go shopping during the summer.

And you let me use you as my "sample size" - since we were basically were the same size - but you had the longer legs.

When we went shopping, you instead we share a dressing room.

Because you always said, _"You're like my sister so it's fine. Well the sister I never had."_

That feeling wasn't mutual.

I pegged you as straight.

So I knew my girl-crush was stupid.

Until we were hanging out in your bedroom on a rainy day and you said Amber Heard and Natalie Dormer could _"fuck"_ you any day.

Then I knew you had to be queer in some shape or form.

Or at least questioning.

I wished you would use me to "practice kiss".

But that never happened.

When we were sixteen, my suspicions were confirmed, you came out as bisexual.

It was then that I knew it had a 50/50 chance with you.

But before I could mention my feelings you met girlfriend #1.

Kate Denali.

Tall blonde.

Clear blue eyes.

Amazing legs.

That were always covered by yours when you sat on her lap.

She was the cliche "hot cheerleader", but she was actually sweet and funny.

I would have liked her more if she wasn't dating you.

You two made out under the bleachers for the whole first semester of sophomore year.

I didn't see you for weeks, until you guys broke up after Christmas vacation.

Then you dated my twin brother Edward.

You two went strong for two years until we graduated from high school.

You both agreed it was better seeing other people in college because you were going to New York and he was going to California.

I remember when you broke up, neither of you had cried a single tear.

Instead you guys become friends with benefits until the summer ended.

When you came over my house the next day I asked why you guys elected to do that you just said, " _The sex was great, but we're better friends."_

When summer did end, I was stuck in Seattle, going to state college, while you two went to Ivy's.

But we kept in touch, I flew out to see you.

You flew in to see me.

Going out to New York to see you was always fun, I dragged you all over fifth avenue to shop.

I must of spent all of my extra money on handbags and heals.

You were the smarter shopper and opted to just buy one item each time.

Our family's were close so I always saw you on the holidays.

Each Thanksgiving we went Black Friday Shopping, and dragged our brothers with us. To carry all of our bags.

And the day after Christmas we also went shopping to score more deals.

Soon four years passed.

You were pre-law, and going places.

I was studying fashion and my parents were skeptical about my future.

They supported me but the way they talked about your future made me feel inadequate. Always.

Edward was majoring in music so we were both even on the "parents are frustrated with their children's career paths".

So it was like they adopted you and held you in the golden child spot.

You could never be a sister to me.

You were always more.

That's why I relished when we spent time together, talked on the phone, or texted, or face-timed.

Every roommate I had always mistaken us for girlfriends.

I wanted us to be girlfriends so bad.

But I never came out to you.

And I always convinced myself I was straight.

I dated one guy.

Jasper Whitlock.

But it ended because he graduated and had to move back to Texas.

I didn't want to do the long distance thing.

When senior year rolled around it all started to change.

You didn't come home for Thanksgiving.

Instead you called me two days before you were supposed to fly in.

 _"Hey Ali, I have some good and bad news." You said, the tone was happy so I figured that the worst news was that you lost your suit case._

 _But I was wrong._

 _"What up Bells?" I asked._

 _You laughed, "Um something amazing. I met someone. Her name is Rosalie."_

 _That's all I heard that broke my heart._

 _But you went on, "I met her at my internship. She's working at the law office, she's almost a partner! At 24!_ _She passed her bar exam with flying colors!"_

 _Your rattling continued, "... and she can work a court room like no other."_

 _"Anyway, the bad news is that I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving, she invited me over to her parents house for the weekend, it's getting really serious."_

 _I managed to speak and replied, "That's great! I'm so happy for you! How long have you been together?"_

 _You giggled, "It's been two months, but I can feel that she could really been the one."_

 _My heart broke, you never said that about anyone. You were always Miss Pessimistic with relationships._

I didn't think that it could get worse than you not coming home for Thanksgiving.

But I was very wrong.

You brought her home, you've never brought anyone home.

My mother raved about you and your girlfriend.

 _"I've never seen Bella that happy in my life. She was positively beaming with happiness. Even when she was with Edward she wasn't that happy." My mom said._

 _Edward rolled his eyes, "Thanks ma."_

 _"Oh hush, you have Tanya now." My mother chided him._

 _Edward had begun a relationship with Kate's younger sister Tanya, who graduated the same year we did._

 _I laughed bitterly, "Yeah Bella and her new girlfriend are great together."_

 _Only Edward caught my sarcasm, cause he gave me a sympathetic smile._

 _My mother on the other hand, "Ooo I wonder if they'll get married."_

Edward always knew I had a crush on you, he even asked for my blessing when you guys were getting close.

I of course said yes, because I didn't want to hold back my brother's happiness.

But when you guys broke up, I can't say I wasn't relieved.

I didn't want you as my sister-in-law under any circumstances.

The next morning after Christmas Day dinner, our mothers got together and gossiped.

The topic was you and Rosalie.

 _"Bella looked so happy last night, I'm so happy for her." My mom said._

 _Renee smiled widely, "I know. The day after they met she called me up crying, tears of joy. They went on a date that night and stayed up talking all night."_

 _My mother dramatically as always put her hand to her heart, "Aw that's so sweet."_

 _"I know! And don't tell this to anyone but Rosalie asked me and Charlie for her hand in marriage." Renee said._

 _My heartbroke in a million fucking pieces._

 _Married._

 _You married to someone else._

 _"Oh my god Renee! That is so exciting! When is she going to propose?" My mother asked, she was wedding giddy, her kids were 22 and not married._

 _A sin to her of course, she was twenty when she got married._

 _And deeply in love with my father._

 _"She said she's waiting until her own birthday, so she can ask for and I quote "the greatest birthday gift ever". Oh Esme she was so happy when we said yes."_

 _Renee was over the moon._

 _Your mother - who you freaked out over when you were about to come out to her._

 _She was in my kitchen planning a wedding with my mother._

You did say yes.

On April 9th.

You called me.

Your fourth call.

After your parents.

Her parents, and last but not least; your brother Emmett.

After the facebook, instagram, and twitter post.

I found out on social media before you called.

You apologized when I answered the call with a congrats.

 _"I'm sorry I meant to call you, but Rose had to post the picture of us. She was so happy. I'm so happy! It's the greatest night of my life!"_

 _I laughed, "It's ok Bella."_

 _Then you asked the question BFFs always want to be asked, but not this one. "Will you be my maid of honor?"_

 _I sighed internally but answered enthusiastically, "Of course Bella! What are best friends for!"_

 _You clapped and called to Rose, "Rose! She said yes, I've got my maid of honor!"_

 _Then I heard a kissing noise._

 _That was the end of that phone call._

Eight months later you guys got married.

Eight months of wedding planning.

Eight months of seeing Rose and you together.

I didn't have a date to the wedding.

And I had to make a speech about how perfect you guys are.

Greatest night of my life.

Please sense the sarcasm.

 _"Bella and Rose. What can I say about Bella and Rose. Well it's been a wapping year since they've been together and they act like they've been together forever..."_

My speech went on and on about how perfect you two were.

And the pain didn't stop there.

There were the million instagram posts of you and Rose on your honeymoon and #throwbackthursdays to your wedding.

Then the Facebook album.

Then the worst news.

You guys are moving to New York, to live.

Since you were graduating from Columbia and were going to NYU Law School, and Rose had a steady job, you guys thought it was the easiest choice.

Your parents and her parents even bought you a penthouse in Manhattan.

Your mother said it was for housing all her "future grandbabbies".

When you told me about it you were excited, but not about the kids part.

You were always against having kids when we were in high school.

That's partly why you and Edward broke up.

He wanted a solid future with kids, and you didn't want that with him.

Or anyone - or so I thought.

So now I'll definitely not see you besides the holidays.

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went.

You and Rose were there.

Always happy.

I think there was one year where you guys had a fight.

But it ended quickly because an hour later you guys were in your childhood bedroom "making up".

Slowly, you stopped coming home for the summer.

The first summer you stayed two weeks because Rose could only get one week off.

And the second week you stayed, but was miserably without your wife.

Your mother thought it was hilarious to see Independent Bella Swan, sorry Independent Bella Hale, needy.

 _"Bella I've never seen you like this! Shape up! You're spending time with family and_ _friends! Alice doesn't want to see you all mopey!" Renee chided her._

 _Bella laughed and looked sheepish, "Sorry, it's just the first time since we've been together where we've been apart."_

 _I looked surprised, "Wait really?"_

 _Bella nodded, "We haven't spent a night apart since we've met each other."_

 _I just sat there in shock, "Wow."_

 _Renee rolled her eyes, "Yeah those two were a pain. Bella moved in to Rose's apartment the second week they met and Bella was still paying for her dorm."_

 _I looked at my best friend, she looked down embarrassed, "Ok so we embody the typical lesbian stereotype? So what? And Rose paid for the fees."_

 _Her mother laughed, "Thank god your wife is rich."_

 _Bella laughed and said with a roll of her eyes, "Yes that is why I married her mother."_

 _I laughed at Bella's sarcasm._

The second summer you were interning at Rose's law firm, but this time you also took the summer internship, so you stayed only weekend.

The third summer you graduated law school and Rose took you to Paris to celebrate.

You called it your second honeymoon.

Your mother was jealous, and so was my mother.

 _"Carlisle? Why didn't you take me on vacation when I completed my masters?" My mother asked, miffed._

 _He looked bewildered, "Umm cause we were poor full time students with two kids?"_

 _She huffed, "Maybe I should have become a lesbian."_

 _I almost spit the water I was drinking, "Mom you don't "become" a lesbian. You're born that way."_

 _My dad agreed with me but she replied, "Well I should have got a sugar mama the way Bella got one."_

 _We all laughed until I got offended, "Hey Bella isn't a gold digger."_

 _My dad laughed, "We know dear, your mother just gets mean when she's jealous."_

The summers eventually became non-existent.

I only saw you at Christmas and Thanksgiving.

And even then there was limited time.

Thanksgiving was only one day because you would spend the rest of the time catching up with high school friends or going to Seattle with Rose.

And you even went Black Friday shopping with her.

That was our thing and you decided she could tag along.

But I have to admit she did get a lot of good deals for us.

She's more aggressive that both of us combined.

Four years after you graduated law school you came home for Thanksgiving different.

You came in with a baby bump.

Three months along.

You never told me you guys were trying, but your excuse was: " _Oh Ali, we didn't tell anyone. We didn't want to get anyone's hopes up."_

Rose was the ever doting wife during your stays during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I wished I was Rose.

The look in your eyes was of pure happiness.

Rose was the same.

That Christmas Edward proposed to Tanya.

Emmett, your goofy brother was still single, so at least I wasn't completely alone at holidays.

Although he managed to always bring a date to holiday dinners.

Six months later you gave birth to a baby girl, who you guys named Rachel Ross Hale.

You guys were watching _F.R.I.E.N.D.S_ for the millionth time when you went into labor and it was the episode where Ross and Rachel get together.

One of your favorites, and one of Rose's favorites, and you guys never settled on any names.

Emmett teased you relentlessly, you told me.

I wasn't there because I was in Paris, actually showing my designs at Fashion Week.

Edward flew in to support me and I appreciated it.

Jasper actually came back to me that night and proposed.

I said yes.

But I didn't tell you because I didn't want to overshadow your news.

So I kept mum for about a week.

My parents were gushing over your baby news from Forks.

And then they were gushing over my news, demanding grandchildren before I've even said "I Do".

After Rachel was born, your parents moved to New York.

They moved to a spacious house out on Long Island so they could be closer to their grandchildren, because you and Rose were trying for baby #2 already.

Emmett also moved out to New York because he met his future wife, Jessica, at the hospital while visiting you.

Edward was sad to see his best friend go, but I was even sadder because I knew that was the end of our holiday traditions.

Your last Christmas in Forks was emotional.

Which was ten years ago.

You promised we would see each other after that Christmas.

 _"Hey don't be sad Ali, Rose and I will come visit you. As soon as the baby is born we'll come out as see you." You said with your brown doe eyes._

 _Rose was pregnant this time, she was five months along. She but she was so thin and fit she looked like she was only three months along._

 _I was eight months pregnant and huge._

 _Another blow to my ego._

 _Rachel was 6 months old at the time._

 _You guys wanted them close in age._

 _You guys got Irish Twins._

 _I knew you were lying, you would have two kids under the age of one. That was not happening._

 _I was only pregnant and I hated traveling while pregnant, I knew traveling with the baby outside of my stomach was going to be even more problematic._

 _But I smiled anyway, "I can't wait."_

We did see each other via Skype.

We called each other once or twice a month.

But I only see what's going on in your life via social media.

We text too, but it's very far and few.

I haven't gone to visit you and you haven't come to visit me.

Your life looks great though.

You and Rose have two almost ten year olds.

Rachel Ross now has Charlotte Rose and Jacob Chandler, and Lilly Isabella as siblings.

You just had to throw in another F.R.I.E.N.D.S related name didn't you?

You adopted Lilly five years ago, she was two years old.

Her name was a coincidence, since her middle name was your first name and her first name was Rose's middle name.

Now she is seven.

Rachel and Charlotte are ten and adorable.

They're around the same age as my son, Jasper Jr.

Rachel is your spitting image and Charlotte is Rose's doppleganger.

Jacob, or Jake as you guys call him is eight and looks just like Emmett did as a kid.

You became the district attorney of New York City, and Rose made partner at her law firm.

At 39, you are a shinning success.

At 39, I'm married to a great man.

We have a son, and a daughter on the way.

It's ten years later I am in New York with my small family and we're at your parents 40th wedding anniversary party.

It's at your house in the Hampton's.

Rose and you decided to buy a summer home that you could easily commute to and form.

The home is beautiful.

Filled with tons of pictures of your life with Rose and your children.

Your children are running around with their cousins.

Emmett had three children of his own, two boys and a girl.

Edward is also here with Tanya and their son.

My son is running around with the kids as well, his blonde curls bouncing around.

All the couples look so happy and in love.

And so do the kids.

Including you.

Rose is behind you, her arms wrapped around you, and her chin on your shoulder.

She kisses it softly and you lean into her touch.

You haven't aged a day since I last saw you.

Your brown hair is still brown and silky, but it's shorter.

It's just past your shoulders, instead of mid back like it use to be.

Running has done you well, your body is still toned.

Flat abs, as always.

You've got a royal blue tight dress on that hits right above your knees.

Rose is in a stunning red dress as well.

She hasn't changed at all.

Your smile takes my breath away.

I feel like Lindsey, looking at Peyton and Lucas.

I can remmeber looking at One Tree Hill with you on Netflix during our high school days.

But I would never imagine I would become Lindsey.

I know your love is like a comet, and Rose is your comet.

I can't paint her or you as a villain, because you both were victims to true love.

I'm a victim to my own emotions.

And I realize.

There will never be a "what if" situation where you will leave her, because you've seen a comet.

And there's no going back.

I've got a good man, that I've never really given him the benefit of the doubt.

I never allowed myself to fall in love.

I just haven't given him that chance.

But he did pay attention to all the details.

He was there when you were not.

But I was focusing on you.

In those moments I was always saying: _what would Bella do? what bella say?_

Maybe Jasper is my comet.

I just never opened my eyes in the night sky.

So I thank you.

I thank you for falling in love with Rose.

Because I realize, you're not mine to want or I'm not yours to have.

So now 24 years, after I've fallen in love with you.

I'm good.

I'm ready to move on.

And you'll never know any of this.

* * *

 **AN:** Alright random one shot idea I had, I was going to end it really angsty but I changed the ending. I've edited this for hours and I can't edit it any longer. Hope you like it.


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